Work-Life Balance, Space Travel and the One-Way Briefcase

Work-Life Balance, Space Travel and the One-Way Briefcase

In my lifetime, I have spent a lot of time watching one generation teach the next that there is no work-life balance.  There is work, which is (or should be) your life.  Putting off work for some aspect of life (other than, perhaps the birth or death of a child. or the death of a parent--if he or she were young), is simply not done.  We won't have a job to come back to if you don't do yours and I don't do mine.  As if we were forming a cheerleading pyramid, and the structure would literally fall if one of us attended to studying for tomorrow's exam instead of cheerleading work at a basketball game against an overmatched opponent.  

Now, there is a next generation (whom we have collectively raised) who are no longer convinced that work comes first.  Imagine that!  There should be room for anyone to set work aside and follow instead the call of the rest of life.  The rest of life is currently represented by one's family--usually children, spouses, parents, etc.  Now that Mom and Dad no longer hold sway over their chidren's "choice" of going to work each day, those children begin to face the demands of the rest of life, their siblings, spouse, and your offspring.  They believe they are making their way to work-life balance.  But ask one of them about their business travel these days.    What do they bring?  How many party shirts, gym shorts, yoga mats did they bring on these trips?  None, really, just the tools of the trade.  If someday they go on a mission to explore another planet, will they go prepared to explain work-life balance as one of the human race's great accomplishments?    

So, when they travel, they have no work-life balance, it's all work.  When they travel to some distant planet, they will brag on the accomplishments and inventions of the obsessed geniuses who never stopped working.  Soon, they return, and begin to spend more time with family or working on their own personal avocations while at home.  But, oops, by force of habit (and the invisible force of the evil briefcase), they begin to devote all their attention to work, and each night they bring along something to work on while en route to or at home.  

It's the fault of the dreaded briefcase, you know.  Whoever invented it enabled all those workaholics.  It's a one-way street, no one ever brings along to work some games to play, or phone numbers/email addresses of people you'd like to just say "Hey" to.  Nope.  Instead, they bring all those work contacts home, along with a bit of reading, or a draft they have been working on--or, in today's world, they also bring home the laptop, which contains all things "work."  Work always follows them home, but home never seems to be permitted to follow them to work.  

We satisfy ourselves with this because we say our jobs are important and that is what makes us important.Then, along comes either a personal or a country-wide, or even a global recession and you no longer have that job.  You aren't as important anymore.  You become depressed, unhappy, at a loss, etc.  Does this teach you anything?  No, the next job you find, wraps you up in all that "stuff" in just the same way, and out comes the briefcase again.  

Oh, that may have been true, but today's generation knows better, and society has passed laws that require employers to accept that every person has a family life, and that such a life demands some maintenance.   Thus, we believe that today's employees stop working at a decent hour, don't think about work when at home, etc.  In short, they don't wrap their identity and ego up in the trappings of work, and they embody "work-life balance," and that is a sign of advancing society toward a higher ideal--work-life balance, Right?  Hmmm, let's take a harder look at that.

Are you ready?  Do you want your doctor, dentist, fireman, police detective to have that kind of balance, or do you want them available day and night, thinking about the problems you (or society) have assigned to them, the hazards from which you expect to be protected?  Ever read John Lescroart?  One of his recurring characters is Abe Glitzky, homicide detective.  Abe has no work/life balance, but he's the guy I want on the case if a family member of mine is murdered.  

Well, not everyone has to be the stuff of heroes, right?  Life is not often so black and white that knowing when to go home and forget about work for a while is that easy, is it?  You want everybody to be able to have a family life, but you want them ready to be a hero when you need them. Can't we distinguish the times dedication and commitment are absolutely needed from those where it is not, just by using our heads?  Well, guess what?  There really isn't a switch you can use to turn all this on and off at the exactly right time.  It's kind of like the briefcase that only works one way,  Some things cannot wait, and some will conflict with your home life.  The problem is most of those moments when we can or should properly go on home are more clearly seen with hindsight.  You will blow it sometimes.  If you head home, you cannot know it's OK unless you can read the future....  

Your identity might just be healthier, more whole, when you have an identity beyond work, one which includes being a good friend, brother, sister, husband, wife, mother, father, etc.  I think most of us can see that.  But it is not easy.  You think just applying some "balanced" part of your time to these roles will miraculously give you that result.  Guess what?  These other roles can be every bit as challenging, overwhelming, boring, ridiculous, strenuous, etc.  as that work life is, so there isn't any guarantee you will be successful.  In fact, the odds are probably against you.  Achieving balance is a tightrope, no one said it would be easy.  Good luck.          

P.S.  Sorry this is so boring, but it's hard to make it simple or to find a clever way to crack this nut.  Unless the whole thing is nuts?   Why didn't I think of this sooner?  There's always "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't."  Nuts to you.  Shells protect us, but shells that are too hard deprive us of the delicious meat held within.  All those metaphors....  Ah, nuts!