Waiting

The grandkids are over, taking turns on the iPad.  The hardest part, once you insist the one waiting for a turn cannot touch for a while, is focusing on something else.  The almighty TV doesn't distract them (I am thankful for that, really).  Today, we are trying the specific time routine.  When the one not playing asks, "When is it my turn?"  We set a time, and show them the digital display on the microwave.  The waiting child then stands in front of the microwave announcing the passing of each minute (allowing for a few distractions, it is probably two minutes out of three).  Time flies when you're having fun.

When you are little, you have no real control over things, the adults are in charge (or we like to think so).  This little aggravation--always waiting for when the adults say it's time--is multiplied ten-fold by the immediate gratification gene.  Any time an idea surfaces that sounds like fun, the child wants to do it immediately.  Adults seize the opportunity then to condition the fun idea on, not just the passage of time, but also good behavior.  I wonder if this isn't their first encounter with living outside the moment.  Until then, the child seems to just enjoy doing whatever he or she is doing.  When they begin having to wait, to delay gratification, they leave the moment and start living in anticipation of the future, waiting instead of just enjoying what is before them in the moment.       

The kids think the adults are in control (and, secretly, the adults wonder if the kids are and not them).  We adults have been around long enough to know that we are not in charge of much in this world.  Everything changes.  We want to hold onto some things, to get rid of others,  We have the urge to have, to be and to know with certainty.  This is attachment.  To long to be rid of certain things is aversion.  Between them, they sew up the universe of difficulty we confront nearly every minute.  The Buddha called it "suffering." which may overstate things a bit.  "Discomfort" might be a better fit.  Anyway, we spend much of our adult lives chasing happiness in things--in having them, in being a certain way, or in knowing certain things.  In fact, happiness, or the cessation of suffering lies in letting go of the future (and the past sometimes).  How we do this seems to take a lifetime to learn.  So, we wait.