A Refugee From Mah-Jongg

I sit this morning in a coffee shop, guzzling a peppermint mocha (venti--oops--I gave away my true location). I am a refugee. My wife's turn to host mah-jongg. How much of the table-talk could I have taken? But at the moment, I am where I need to be. It's Christmas Eve Eve, and I am not shopping for more gifts this year. Maybe some flowers?

Watching all the people hustling around on the way to get just one more, I'm glad we stepped out of the marathon (or should I say shop-a-thon?) this year. Mostly for economy reasons, but I have a lot more time available to walk, to bake cookies, to read and to write than I would otherwise. So what have I accomplished with all this time? Just returning to the here and now, where my body remains regardless of where in the future or the past my mind wanders (Dan Millman, I think). Breathing in and out, listening and watching.

Here's wishing you some time like this for the holidays.

Just Wondering

Now that I am being told there is a "deal" in the works on health care reform, I am starting to wonder. How much better will the economy get as it tries to absorb the tax increases necessary to fund "the deal?" I'm just not one of those who believe the stories about "revenue neutral." How do we extend coverage to millions of people, protect Medicare, and have revenue neutrality? How do we pay "the highest rate of pay for the Senior Executive service under Section 5382(b) of Title 5," and the members of the bureaucracy the Health Choices Commissioner will head, and have cost neutrality? Do you know any government employees who are motivated to save money every day? That's what it would take to make this pay for itself. The employees of this new department of Health Choices will, at the very least, have to be dedicated to saving their own salaries every day.

Then there is the cost of health care for the millions who are added to the rolls. In my experience, health coverage costs at least $300 a month. So multiply the 20 million or so people times $300 each month and you have the expenditure that makes me wonder. Now, I know the Congress has a lot of smart people among its members and on its staff, but I'm wondering why none of those people can come forward and resolve all the doubts that I and others have. It must be something obvious we are all missing. I have attempted to glean some of this from the 2,016 page House Bill, but realized I was wasting my time as the Senate was preparing a markedly different bill that is 2,700 pages long, and I have yet to see it. Then there's the compromise bill that will finally be hammered out by a joint committee. What will that look like? I wonder.

Let's just relax. "It isn't going to take effect for several years; it will eventually be revenue-neutral…" We don't have to worry about this any time soon. But, I'm wondering about when it will become something to worry about. When will it all be paid for? How will we deal with the taxes? A basic principle that I subscribe to is that tax increases don't stimulate economic growth, they retard it. I'm wondering, am I wrong? I don't think so. If you increase taxes, you add to costs, you reduce profits; you reduce the amount of capital available for reinvestment. Isn't that how it works?

Oh, and the new villains of the piece, the insurance companies. What do we do with them? I'm wondering if they will continue to exist once we regulate away any profits. Oh, the government will decide what a fair profit will be. Do you guess the Federal Reserve will set profits, kind of like they control interest rates? I'm wondering how that is going to work. I may not be as smart as our Congresspersons who don't read the bills they pass, but I read where insurance companies will have to apply for approval before they change premiums on coverage they sell. I'm wondering if they will all have to submit their applications all at once. Or, will they have to combine as many insurance company applications together as possible so that the process won't take up the entire year. It just makes me wonder. How about you?

After That You’re On Your Own

I read something the other day that has stuck with me. "Biology will only take you to age 50, after that you have to give yourself a reason to live." At first, that didn't register with me. Biology? Taking me to age 50? But, if you're willing to combine biology with society's imperatives that have evolved from biology's, maybe it makes better sense. Biology drives us to ensure the survival of the species. You know, procreation and all that. Humans raise their children to have families of their own, etc. So society sets it up that way--we are brought into this world, and society has created this set of imperatives that carry us along. Most of us find ourselves down the track a long ways before we ever consider another choice. At age 3 or 4 we enter school and we are in the education box for 15 to 20 more years. Next, it's pursue a career so you can find a mate, have a family, etc. Raising that family will take you to about 50, so it makes sense. Now, I know there are some out there with the courage to start another family at 50, but, whoa….

So, having "been there done that" on raising a family, it's time for many of us to find a new purpose before we forget how to live.

It seems there are two paths to pursue, find something that really engages you and get involved in that, or find something with a higher purpose. What about purpose that engages you fully? Do you have a good sense of what really engages you? Don't wait to find out you've walked away from all the things that engage you when you left your first half career. Look carefully at what strengths you are using and how you feel when you are using them. Find somewhere to use them in another setting. Were you really engaged when you were speaking to groups? Did you lose yourself in writing? Was financial analysis what really revved you up? Was it nothing at all at work, but work-outside-of-work that really gave you enjoyment?

If you are drawn to the level of a higher purpose, there are lots of places where there is need. While you're out there looking for that purpose, how about giving some thought to Phil Collins' song—and "think twice, it's just another day for you and me in paradise." It's probably just me, but for weeks I haven't been able to get through a day without some echo of that song—

She calls out to the man on the street
sir, can you help me?
Its cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?

Winter is approaching and there are all kinds of people suffering, hope we can find a way to help some of them.

Another thought, I know a man who, with a group of other successful men, mentors young boys at a nearby middle school. He provides an example, an adult they can talk to, and friendship along with some help in school. The program is highly successful and is having a real measurable impact on these children. How's that for some purpose?

In almost every community, there is Hospice. Living well in the end of life is important for everyone and there are both career opportunities and opportunities for volunteers. Giving back in this special way is another purpose.

Choose whatever path suits you, but don't rely on biology or society to carry you along. Finding your purpose is a job you'll have to do on your own.

Questions for Middlescence

A business consultant and coach whom I admire, Sherri Garrity (www.corporatefugitive.com), recently posted four questions her daughter was asked to ponder on the first day of school in the 3^rd grade. Sherri thought they were extraordinary, and I do, too. Here they are—

1. Who do we want to be?
   
2. What kind of people do we want to be?
   
3. What do we believe in?
   
4. What do we value or think is important?
   

Sherri asks them in a business context, and I think they are worth examining as you set the course for your 2^nd half of life. You see, these are the sort of questions you had the chance to answer once before—when you were struggling with adolescence. On the threshold of adulthood, you were answering those questions with the choices you made.

Who do we want to be?
Many of us were advised to focus on what we wanted to be when we grew up, and steered to answers that were really career choices. While that has served its purpose, you are probably freer to rethink this one in Middlescence. You don't have young children to raise, college loans to pay for, a home to buy, and all the other things that compelled you to work at a career that provided for your wants and needs. But who do you want to be, really? Do I want to be what I do?

What kind of people do we want to be? There was another wrinkle on this one. You answered this one by your choices in who you spent time with—what friends you had in school and the places you hung out. Later, it could have been the spouse you chose, the church you attended, the neighborhoods where you moved. It turns out your parents were right to be concerned about the crowd you ran around with, because it has a great deal to do with what kind of person you wind up becoming.

What do we believe in? In turbulent times, we do (and likely should) spend time on this one. Trials test our beliefs. If I believe in helping build a better community, I take an active role in helping make it so. If I believe children should be protected, then I do something when I see one in danger. In Middlescence you are getting a second chance to determine who you want to be, what kind of person you want to be, and more. Look at what you really believe for some answers.

What do we value or think is important? I don't know that it isn't possible to start here and work your way backward. If you think clean water is important, it may be because you believe we ought to be good stewards of the abundance around us, which may lead you to want to be around people who are interested in helping clean things up and that you want to be a person who takes action to protect and improve our waterways, instead of telling others what they should do about it or just talking. Just an example and not one that's necessarily universal, but I have a friend who has started up a foundation to support educating children on the importance of protecting our water, and I admire her stepping up to do something.

Whether you start at the last question or the first, these are worth examining as you tackle your great 2^nd half "do-over."

Yes, Lying on a Sun-Baked Beach Makes You Happy

Ok, I am not making this up. "As the thermometer goes up, so does your mood -- according to a new University of Colorado study. CU scientist Christopher Lowry, an assistant professor of integrative physiology, received a $500,000 grant from the National Science Foundation to continue studying the link between temperature and mood." At first, I was going to make this about place, one of the four elements of the "good life" in the study done by the MetLife Mature Market Institute with Dr. Richard Leider. Leider hypothesized that the Good Life was composed of four elements—Money, Meaning, Medicine and Place; and went on to discover that Meaning trumps all of them in the minds of the majority of more than a thousand persons aged 45-74 in this study group.

But enough about that, I was using the sun-baked beach headline to congratulate myself on the fact that I have settled on an island off the Carolina coast. But as I read on, I learned that warmth can come from within as well. The sense of well-being that comes from warmth can come from elevating your body temperature with exercise. Another data point on why we feel better after we exercise, isn't it? It seems that we have known since the 1970's that warming a small area of the skin on rats in the laboratory produced heightened levels of serotonin in the brain. So, we can get this mood-elevating boost from lying on the beach, or from exercising. What about the warm feeling that doing something for someone else can produce? Let's ask Dr. Lowry to work that into his study. I think I know already, but I'd like to know if science backs that up.

Persistence and Integrity

On a recent Saturday, my barber and I were having a discussion about persistence and integrity. Huh? It seems she asked me how I planned to spend the rest of my day off. Being honest, I told her I had to go home and finish my vacuuming. She giggled at this, and I explained that I am the designated vacuumer in our house, thanks to my commitment to my position on the subject of whether we buy another vacuum. You see, we replaced our last vacuum while it still had some useful life. My spouse was tired of the fact that it was a nuisance to empty it as you tended to spread dust around when doing so. The dust could have been controlled with a little caution. She tired of the new vacuum quickly ("It's too hard to push"). Being the man, I refused to buy another vacuum so soon when we now had two serviceable vacuums. Always a step ahead of me, she promptly informed me that I could do the vacuuming, then. My barber thought I might be a bit "stubborn," I called it "persistence." I acknowledged to her that I am weakening, and may be buying a vacuum shortly.

She asked if I had tried doing a very bad job of vacuuming and I said it was another weakness of mine, I just couldn't do a bad job on purpose. She paused for a while, then remarked, "I guess you probably call that 'integrity' instead of 'stupidity,' don't you?"

Is it Being Laid Back or Procrastinating

I live on an island. In this insulated atmosphere, many people are described as "laid back," which I take to mean the opposite of "hyper," or "wound too tight." If you are laid back, you tend to be more patient, accepting of others, and possessing something close to equanimity about others whom you encounter. In other words, in this case, the Dalai Lama's, to you "Each and every being wants/strives to be happy and to avoid suffering. In this fundamental way, all beings are equal." That may be a bit too lofty, but I think it is the logical extension of the feeling that comes over me here in this place. This is not the view held by some who visit, and even some who have lived here for years. Their perception is that things move too slowly and that there is no sense of urgency. People just find reasons to procrastinate on everything.

I can accept that fewer show the outward signs of urgency (the frown, the bent forward posture when walking forward—always briskly with the head down, or the car weaving in and out of traffic, etc.) in this place. I can also accept there are some who have nothing to do, but there are people like that everywhere. But joy gets people alive and moving, too. You can be driven by externals or drawn by what you feel inside of you. Capturing the latter seems more possible here. Procrastinating is, literally from the Latin pro + cras meaning "for tomorrow." Hence, it becomes leaving things for tomorrow. But, responding to today is not procrastinating. It's living in the present, which is literally all we have. As long as what we pursue in the present is not merely pleasure or gratification, then living for today is not procrastination, it's the pursuit of happiness. I'll take living "laid back" for one more day, I think.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes, it's true. I have a birthday. Thankful to be around for one more. Getting over the flu this week has reminded me how important feeling good can be to making progress. Everything I usually initiate ground to a halt, and I just reacted to what came along. Not exactly living the life you imagined. Makes me marvel at those who struggle with chronic health challenges, and wonder how they cope. That takes me to where I want to be in another year.

I'm finding that progress for me can be measured around birthdays far more effectively than the passing of calendar years. You see, each calendar year measures the time of the planet earth or of civilization, not my time. On the other hand, each birthday I know my little window of opportunity has shortened by another year. It's probably why Tim Crowley's book, Younger Next Year, appealed to me so when I first ran across it. I have adopted a few of his recommendations, but have a long way to go in restoring myself physically. But I take courage from the fact that I get twice as much exercise and weigh 30 lbs. less than I did just two birthdays ago. But, I digress. In the coming year, I want to upgrade my level of exercise (to five days a week of aerobics and 4 for strength) and drop another 10 lbs. I also want to show up here and exercise my brain a whole lot more. That means writing twice a week, so let's get going.

News Fasting and Information Environmentalism

Oh no, here we go again--another sort of environmentalism. This time, I can relate, because it's personal. Information environmentalism--a movement aimed at helping me escape from the chirping persistence of cell phones, personal digital assistants, blackberries, instant messaging, television and all forms of electronic media pecking away at my conscious mind, and splitting my attention into a dozen places at once, or so it seems. Maybe the time has come for some of this information environmentalism. I have heard it said we ought to try a news fast one day a week. Given that I am still a working stiff, my guess it will have to be a weekend day, since so much email carries news to me on a regular basis on my work email.

So what would I get for my effort to fast from the news? The promise is that things would slow down (no tripping from one 5-second sound bite to the next), that life would be more positive with a whole lot less bad news. I'd find the time to take more time face-to-face, relating to the important people in my life (less time in front of the TV, or with my nose buried in the newspaper, or--my wife's favorite--checking my blackberry when the vibration tells me I have a new email message).

What sort of pollutants will I avoid? I won't know what the latest celebrity did to embarrass himself or run afoul of laws/cultural norms. I won't know which politician has lied about what and been caught (I'll still know there are plenty out there lying, just won't know which one's gotten caught--say it ain't so, Nancy). I won't know how many people have been maimed in the name of religion or politics, how many disasters have killed how many innocents.

I won't know the latest bad economic news that isn't really that bad, since it was better than the pessimists had forecast. The wonders of a "rose-colored recession." Things aren't as bad as we expected them to be, so we must be on the way back to prosperity.

Here are few things I will know. I'll know my oldest sister is healthy still. Her kids are making their way through the struggles of parenthood. I'll know she is watching out for my other sister as she adjusts to becoming a widow.

I'll get to spend time walking in my neighborhood, looking with wonder at the osprey nest across the street. I'll plant a flower or two, pull a few weeds and talk to a neighbor about what's on his mind these days. I'll sit at the beach for a bit, just listening to the waves and feeling the breeze. Not bad for a person on a strict fast...

The Inside Story

Lately, I've been looking at things from a different perspective. Internal vs. External. Much of what I have done until now has been driven by roles, expectations and obligations. As a child, I had a role which my parents defined, accompanied by some very clear expectations--do my chores, go to school, study hard, don't fight with my brothers, etc. All these things were really just required behaviors that were visible and external.

Later, I attended a university and obtained an education, because that was what was expected if you were going to become an adult.

As life went on, there were many external things--choosing a career, getting a job. Then there was choosing a mate and starting a family, which included the obligation of providing food and shelter, obtaining the other material things we wanted to add to our comfort, pleasure, etc. Of course, to make those things happen, I had assumed the role of employee--performing the obligations that came with that position. All the rest depended on keeping that job

Along the way, all of that external stuff took precedence over the internal things.

I had to make compromises that usually meant letting externals take precedence over internal things, Pursuing a career was balancing two elements, I learned. I had to balance what interested me (which was internal) alongside what I could do to make the money I'd need to be independent (external). So, I chose a career that was a form of compromise between the two. But the reality was far different from what I thought it would be while I was in school. There was very little of what interested me, and a lot of what I just had to do to make money. I remember the feeling of depression that came over me on Sunday evenings early in my career--facing another work week. I adjusted, grew up and became more comfortable in the career I had chosen, but I remember it was a struggle.

Today, I would tell a younger person that doing what is expected in your job is an obligation you accepted when you took the job. If it doesn't work for you, don't blame it on the organization--decide whether it is worth it and stay or go on that basis.

The roles of father and husband were usually pretty clear to me. I could look to my parents for an example of how to make family and marriage work. Their example taught me you work at it and remain committed to succeeding and it will work out. But, the truth is, I didn't have to wonder what to do--My father, the visible role model, set out pretty clearly what I had to do. I had to choose my own way, but I was doing the same things.

Today, I am looking ahead to what the 2nd half of life will look like. I find myself looking inside. Life will change without the usual roles of employee (I'll retire from my 1st half career) and father (the kids are grown and mostly on their own). The "husband" role is still around, but I think it will evolve a great deal in the next few years.

But just what do I want? There is no real pattern or role to follow, no obvious choice or obligation. Some people think there may be too many choices in front of us. One fact I am pretty sure of is the "golden years" model is not for me. I'll likely work, but not in the field I am in today. I want to do something else, now that I can. So my focus is on the inside, much like it was when I was choosing a career the first time. But this time I see a need for a better fit to my values and a greater focus on what I want to contribute going forward, not on what I will get materially. You see, I don't have 60 or so years ahead of me, it might be three years or it might be thirty-three. With that in mind, my choices will be different this time. There's a new story to write and it will take some time for me to write it. I just know I'll be looking on the inside.

Where It's At--Retiring in the Right Place

Lately, I've been thinking about "place," as in where to spend the 2nd half of life for us. The concept, it seems, includes more than just geography.

Oh, sure, there's where you are in relation to the important parts of the country. I'm finding the important parts of the country are more often associated with where important people in your life are located--like siblings, parents, children, best friends, to name a few. So, where you are in relation to important parts of the country is also mostly about who, isn't it?

I had an uncle who had 13 children (Catholics, what can I say?), and calculated that Springfield, IL was the geographic center of his family's respective locations. So, after reading up on the city and liking what he learned, he moved there. It didn't last, and I don't think his family came to visit him there much anyway; so he and my aunt moved to Helena, MT where they lived in the early years of their marriage and were happy they did.

A place that people want to come and visit can be an asset, too. My uncle's plan didn't take that into consideration--while Springfield, IL was a fine place to live, his extended family just wasn't that likely to pick it as a vacation destination.

Then there are the other facets of geography, like proximity to lakes, the ocean, mountains, etc. If you particularly like to spend time close to one of those listed, you'll want to bear that in mind. I especially like the beach and warm climate, so I have gravitated to Coastal South Carolina.

But yet another aspect of "place" has occurred to me. Part of what makes a place special is what and who you surround yourself with. That's community. You can move to a place and never know the best things about it if you don't get involved in your community. Will there be ample opportunity to join groups and give back to your community in your retirement place? Think about it and consider the people you can and will rub shoulders with in your "place." As they used to say--"that's where it's at."

Gregory Bleers, Sr. R.I.P.

My sister's husband of more than 40 years passed away in his sleep last night. His passing was painless, we are told (for him at least). My sister says his final weekend was spent happily--with family in Saugatuck, Michigan, puttering around the house and holding his newest grandbaby. He listened to the Masters' results on the way home and watched the highlights last night before he went to bed--he loved golf. Golf was a vice he took up later in life, I think after all his children were grown. Like me, he would hit a couple of good shots a round, and that was enough to keep him coming back.

Greg had the most energy of anyone I have known, he was always on the move--doing something, helping someone. We saw him at one end or the other of long trips for the past 25 years, as we moved to the Southeast that long ago. Sheila remembers him as always carrying someone's suitcase in from the car, whether when arriving at our place in the company of my 2 sisters and Mike, or when welcoming some of the many arrivals to our annual family reunion in Saugatuck. One final example, the last time he visited us, he cleaned out my garage!

He was one of those people who never met a stranger, he loved to talk and to strike up a conversation with people he encountered along the way. I never saw him be other than friendly toward every stranger he encountered.

Greg didn't hesitate when the chance came to chip in with his children to buy a vacation home and invest lots of sweat equity making it the place they dreamed it could be. When his kids needed his help, he was there. He helped his son rehab a house over the course of what seemed like a year or more, gutting the place and rebuilding it piece-by-piece.

I see so many smiles when I picture him, whether it was the impish grin when he was up to something or the positively beaming smile he would offer when one of us would tease him. He was full of life, and I'll miss him.

His passing is one of those events that gives me pause and makes me reflect on how my life is playing out. Am I doing all the important things I can? As I write the story of my life each day, am I including all that I value the most? I know this event is not about me, but I'm thinking it is one more gift from Greg--reminding me that life is better spent on the move than at rest, with a smile not a frown, and giving others a hand while you have the chance.

Suppressing the Warbles x

Henry David Thoreau once wrote "As the sparrow had its trill, sitting on the hickory before my door, so I had my chuckle or suppressed warble which he might hear out of my nest." As I stepped outside to pick up the paper on this chill February morning, I took a breath, sighed and walked to the mailbox. Nothing wrong with hanging around here. No suppressed warble though, as I spotted my neighbor and first greeted him, then greeted his dogs by name--dogs are people, too, you know. Even on a Saturday morning, the notion of just watching, remains just out of reach, natural as it is. Years of conditioning have reinforced the other natural activity--constantly flowing thoughts of everything but just sitting still. Even so, I'll settle for what comes along, just being here. I listened to two friends talk about last night about their lives, one remarking he was just glad to make it this far alive, "With each year better than the last," he says, "what could be better than just being here?" The other talked about the joy of just being free to experience life in such a beauiful place. He said he has no room in his life for people who whine about their situation. Look on the bright side, he urges. So this morning, I will join them and enjoy just being here, and I'll warble if I want to.

Economic Stimulus and Me

Economic Stimulus and Me

Not that I believe the world is "all about me," but I've now seen what Washington prescribes to help us through the next two or three years of the inevitable business cycle... I'm still looking. I'm not looking for the federal government to take care of it, but I'm looking to me. What is it I am going to do?

The fact is, after whipping up all the hysteria the past several months, our leaders in Washington don't have any better answers than they had at the beginning. These are probably people with mostly good intentions, trying out what they think are their best ideas for turning things around. The sad fact is they don't know what, if anything, they can do to move things in an upward direction. It is a cycle, after all, and we're bound to have downturns like these. While many think they have the answers, the only certainty we have about what works is by hindsight. Oh, well...

So what do I do to get through the next 2-3 years? I'm looking at what I have and what is truly important to me. I have a family, I have friends and I live in a caring community. What's so bad about that? Would I trade any of those things for a few more dollars in my 401K, or a newer car to drive? No way in the world! But here's the challenge--what will I do, now that I am reminded of what is important to me? I can find ways, I think, to spend more time, give more attention to the people I love and the people who are important to me. The researchers on life transition at MetLife's Mature Market Institute have asked the question--"how can we discover what matters?" In framing the question they have hit upon a structure for meaning in life that I like. Meaning is found

• spending time with friends and family you love,
• helping make things better for others,
• using your talents to accomplish things that matter and
• enjoying personal interests like hobbies.

Talking with people of a certain age, they have found that meaning (loosely defined as our family, friends and community) is more important to most Americans than money. So ask yourself this question--what am I doing to put more meaning into my life? There are a host of other questions, but I think this makes a good one for starters.

What Do You Want to Do?

What Do You Want to Do?

It seems like an obvious question, doesn't it? But it has multiple dimensions, especially for people entering the 2nd half of life; including time, type of work and compensation. Many people I talk to are looking for non-traditional schedules. They mean to work, and not necessarily just any time they feel like it, but perhaps only for certain months out of the year. Others want to work only on a contract-basis, perhaps a month or two at a time. This variety of approaches may make these people a form of contingent workforce. That can be attractive to employers needing help, but not in a hurry to expand their full-time, permanent workforce in the face of economic uncertainty. Others simply want to work part-time, a few hours at a time, a few days a week. This can sometimes make finding suitable work difficult. Then again, in certain fields, part-time employees are the norm, rather than the exception.

Next, what kind of work do you want to do? Is this your way of giving back? Is it a way to meet and talk with new people? Do you have a hobby or other special interest you'd like to pursue? I know people who have picked up enough know-how to be dangerous in web-site design and related work to take that up as a part-time occupation, helping those who know a lot less about it than they do. Still others were always intereested in books, so working in a bookstore suits them perfectly. Have you left your first career intending to get as far away from what you did in that time? Do you want to continue to work in the field in which you worked during your first half of life? That is sometimes the best way to maximize your income. Which leads us really to the next question.

Yes, there's the question of compensation. I have heard it said that volunteers are under-valued by their "employers." The mind-set apparently is that volunteers aren't getting paid, so you can waste their efforts with impunity. Much of what I read about the social dividend from retired baby-boomers engaging in the volunteer workforce actually provides dollar-estimates of the value of all the volunteer work being offered by this workforce. Whichever camp you are in, placing real value on their contribution seems to make better sense. The fact remains that you have to gauge what you want out of this new form of employment. If you plan to do it for money, how much will you want to make this employment suit your needs? If you just don't want to fall into the trap of being undervalued (or asked to do very little of any importance) because you are uncompensated, how much will be enough?

There is a growing segment of the population (especially under 65) who want to work to obtain health care coverage. This is not as common in smaller businesses, so it may narrow your options a bit. In the alternative to having employer-provided coverage, you may just want to ratchet up the target for wages you wish to earn to cover the cost of getting it for yourself through someone like AARP (anyone over 50), MegaLife or other health insurance provider.

The bottom line is, think these things through ahead of time and you can avoid chasing rabbit trails that are leading somewhere you really didn't want to go in the first place.

What Me, Practice?

What Me, Practice?

By now, you have what you think is a natural style and way about you. You probably figure you can just wing it in an interview. Not so fast... Yesterday's interviews may have been only about you and not about them. Jobs were a more or less static thing and they were looking for a peg about the right circumference to fit their round hole. Alas, the world no longer works that way. There are many ways that organizations are dynamic and roles are constantly evolving. Consequently, today's interviews are a little different. Prospective employers are often looking for you to tell them how you can solve their challenges. They'd also like to see you have taken the time to get to know enough about them to enable you to show them they need what you have to offer. Or, it might be that together you and the people you are meeting with are discovering what it is you can do for them. If they aren't thinking that way when you walk in, your job is to make sure they are thinking that way when you walk out.

Enough about attitude, I said you need to practice. If you are going to do as well as you can, you need a plan. Talking points aren't just for politicians. Anyone who has a message to send can use three to five. What are the three to five key messages you want to get across in your interview? You need to compress the mountain of benefit they would receive if they hire you into just three to five simple ideas. Then you need to dream up some questions that you might use to launch your ideas in response to. There are, in fact, some formula-questions. They are questions that interviewers can't help asking, if only out of habit. "Tell me about yourself." "What are your strengths?" "What would your last employer say was an area where you could improve?"

I have a book of questions that people ask in interviews and you could probably pick up something similar. It's not really important which one you use. What's important is practicing the art of turning those questions into a means to instill one of your key messages. But have ready an example of how you used these skills in your work or personal life. Any question that is not looking for a specific piece of factual information can be adapted for your use. An interviewer might lob one of those softballs in the preceding paragraph and you can bat that one out of the park, or you may just have to turn one of those "behavioral questions" into your vehicle. "Tell me about a time when you used your problem-solving skills." Search your memory bank for a few real-life situations you went through to be ahead of the game. Being able to describe a specific case of how you have done just what they need done will convince them they need what you have to offer. If you're like me, those ideas don't turn up in the interview setting because your smooth, easy style tends to unravel a bit in the pressure of an interview. So, plan ahead and practice. You will enhance your chances of success and feel better about your effort to put your best foot forward. How you feel is as important to good delivery as what you say.

Deal With It

You struggle for what seems like months to get an interview, and then it happens. You go to the interview and everything seems to click. You walk away convinced you are perfect for the job. Why? Who knows? You just fall in love with the idea that they plan to hire you. Why else were they smiling at you and nodding their heads during the interview. And it is just like falling in love, you can't remember anything that was other than a perfect fit for you. You quickly forget (or may not even notice) that one of the decision-makers challenged your fit for the job and you were unable to convince him otherwise. or correct that impression. You ask at the conclusion of the interview what the next steps will be and when they will be making their decision. You leave feeling certain they will call you shortly. Two weeks stretches into three, and you are alternately brooding and dreaming about the opportunity (you don't even call it a job anymore). Do they have your number? It's on your resume, of course. Why haven't they called?

Deal With It

The reality is that this is a chore to them. Some of them dread the prospect of making a mistake, knowing the cost in time and stress of choosing the wrong person, so avoidance is the most effective strategy. Others are blithely ignorant of the possibility of such a disaster and just can't be bothered with all the time they are being asked to spend on this. Somewhere there is someone who is accountable for getting a person hired, but few organizations measure how long it takes to hire someone to fill a vacancy, so getting the principals to move in one direction is like herding cats. It will happen eventually, but not on the kind of schedule that someone guessed at at the conclusion of you interview.

The other thing you need to face? The odds are they will not be calling you. What? Is that possible? They seemed to like me. I had all the necessary qualifications and I know they bought my pitch about the skills I could bring to bear. Sure, you could be right. You may just be the best person they could hire. But remember, I said "the odds are..." Fact is they likely received a hundred resumes, invite seven to ten in for interviews, will invite three back in and will hire one. So, you were a hundred-to-one shot.

What to do? Take the time to look at this in a cool, rational way. There are lots of activities you still pursue despite the odds, and you don't beat yourself up about it. You date, you spread grass seed, you swing a golf club hoping to hit the green, you bowl hoping to make that spare, you buy the occasional lottery ticket (oh no, not that one), you ball up a sheet of paper and throw it at the wastebasket, you cut the grass, you spread weed killer on your lawn, you diet, you exercise, you buy raffle tickets, you sign up for drawings, you play tennis against your sister, there's more, I am certain. Some of these activities are just like hunting for a job, you pursue them and dream about the possible outcome, even though you know the odds. So, what it this about? Let go of the outcome on this one, and on all of them. Send the resume, go to the interview and let them worry about it. You just remember to just keep plugging away and don't let your emotions get wrapped up in the outcome. You don't have any control over the outcome. Deal with it.

So you think you want to go back to work...

So you think you want to go back to work...

With all the angst about the stock market decline and the real estate slump, it's little wonder that loads of people are rethinking retirement lifestyle. The "risk" of longevity is becoming too much for people to deny. With that said, you might be thinking "I'll just find a job somewhere to supplement my income and I'll be fine." Sort of like turning on a faucet, huh?

Not so fast there, folks. Everybody and his uncle is out there pounding the pavement looking for a job. What will set you apart? Here's a clue, it is the same thing that will enable you to find a job in the first place--your network. Just by letting the people you know that you are looking for a job, you will be taking the first step.

But in this economy, jobs will be snatched up before they are even advertised or listed, etc. So how do you tap into the source? Your network. They will hear things by word-of-mouth and can pass it along to you, if you have told them you are looking. If you haven't, then it won't even come up in the conversation.

But I said your network will set you apart, what does that mean? Well, each one of us is connected to a unique collection of people, for one thing. Not everybody knows the same group of people or talks to the same people you do. So, your network will be collecting information uniquely, just like two different-shaped nets would sluice through the water in two different ways. One way you hear about positions before they become known to the general public is when a member of your network hears about somebody who is leaving a job. Someone they know may just have given notice (or said it out loud for the first time and not yet given notice). Your network can pick up on this one before anyone is out there looking for a replacement.

Another way you'll tap into the job market and capture the jobs that haven't been advertised is by persuading people they need what you have to offer. A network can introduce you to people you can help who are just beginning to realize they need help, especially your help. Someone I know has "interviewed" with a Company for no specific position, but the conversation has been a "lightning-rod" that has set them thinking about how they can use her help. Something to think about....