Questions for Middlescence

A business consultant and coach whom I admire, Sherri Garrity (www.corporatefugitive.com), recently posted four questions her daughter was asked to ponder on the first day of school in the 3^rd grade. Sherri thought they were extraordinary, and I do, too. Here they are—

1. Who do we want to be?
   
2. What kind of people do we want to be?
   
3. What do we believe in?
   
4. What do we value or think is important?
   

Sherri asks them in a business context, and I think they are worth examining as you set the course for your 2^nd half of life. You see, these are the sort of questions you had the chance to answer once before—when you were struggling with adolescence. On the threshold of adulthood, you were answering those questions with the choices you made.

Who do we want to be?
Many of us were advised to focus on what we wanted to be when we grew up, and steered to answers that were really career choices. While that has served its purpose, you are probably freer to rethink this one in Middlescence. You don't have young children to raise, college loans to pay for, a home to buy, and all the other things that compelled you to work at a career that provided for your wants and needs. But who do you want to be, really? Do I want to be what I do?

What kind of people do we want to be? There was another wrinkle on this one. You answered this one by your choices in who you spent time with—what friends you had in school and the places you hung out. Later, it could have been the spouse you chose, the church you attended, the neighborhoods where you moved. It turns out your parents were right to be concerned about the crowd you ran around with, because it has a great deal to do with what kind of person you wind up becoming.

What do we believe in? In turbulent times, we do (and likely should) spend time on this one. Trials test our beliefs. If I believe in helping build a better community, I take an active role in helping make it so. If I believe children should be protected, then I do something when I see one in danger. In Middlescence you are getting a second chance to determine who you want to be, what kind of person you want to be, and more. Look at what you really believe for some answers.

What do we value or think is important? I don't know that it isn't possible to start here and work your way backward. If you think clean water is important, it may be because you believe we ought to be good stewards of the abundance around us, which may lead you to want to be around people who are interested in helping clean things up and that you want to be a person who takes action to protect and improve our waterways, instead of telling others what they should do about it or just talking. Just an example and not one that's necessarily universal, but I have a friend who has started up a foundation to support educating children on the importance of protecting our water, and I admire her stepping up to do something.

Whether you start at the last question or the first, these are worth examining as you tackle your great 2^nd half "do-over."