Recently, I caught myself wondering about something, something I had never considered before--why not grow a beard? No, I haven't been watching Duck Dynasty. In fact, I don't think I have ever watched an entire episode of that one. That's not a criticism, there are thousands of television programs of which I have never watched an entire episode. That's not it at all.
Why consider a beard? I am old, in case you haven't noticed. One of the many wonders of reaching this age is the joy that simple tasks like shaving can bring. After devoting the usual ten minutes or so, I usually rinse off my face with my hands and a little water. After feeling my face and noticing it's not smooth at all, I start over. The problem is, I have an old man's face. I have grooves and curves (some in the form of wrinkles, others just the result of fading resiliency of my skin) where I didn't before. My face sags in places it never sagged before, here-the beginning of jowls, there the double chin and the "turkey neck."
Getting the stubble in the grooves formed by wrinkles around my mouth takes pressure that you'd swear will cut your flesh. Smoothing the not-so-resilient skin that droops from this face requires contorting the face in ways unseen before just to get something to press the razor against. If I didn't redo my morning shave, I'm pretty certain I'd be growing portions of a beard anyway. So why not? It sounds appealing in some ways. To a lazy person, which I am not (of course), not having to shave every morning might be appealing. There are some who think the opposite sex might find you more attractive--I have no data on that point, but my sense is that the men on Duck Dynasty have the attractive spouses because of their bank balances, not the pretty faces hiding behind those beards.
I went to google for some advice on the disadvantages of having a beard. Food on your face from earlier meals appears in everyone's list. A more subtle--but related--disadvantage is that beards hold and grow bacteria, and can hold and pass along viruses. Who knew? How did the cave men survive?
Another disadvantage is that little children find you scarier--to some old men I know (W.C.Fields, for example?) this might not be so bad. Oh, and I have no data to support this one either, but several responders reported women found men with beards less attractive. My sense is that a lot of us don't have much room to give up many points on this scale (OK, I admit it, I am one of those that can't afford to give any points away).
So, for now, no beard for me. I'm more afraid of the disadvantages than the extra time looking st myself in the mirror each day, painful as that might be.
No comments:
Post a Comment