Bacon, Bakin' and Odd

Bacon, Bakin' And Odd


We're taking it easy today, except for getting ready for a 4th of July parade of visitors.  The preparation that consists mainly of a trip to the grocery store for "some snacks."  We delegated cooking the main course (and some of the sides, come to think of it) to Bullies' BarBQ--a merchant we have had the privilege of living about five minutes away from for the past couple of years.  

It really is too beastly hot for anyone to ask me to actually cook for all of them, trust me.  As I moved about the store and picked up  what I thought were "snacks," namely pretzels, potato chips, taco chips, I heard my dear wife say, "Oh, we'll be needing some bacon, too."  This reignited a condition I had only lately begun to recover from in just the past fifteen hours or so--Baconitis.  Yesterday it manifested itself when somebody observed that we were "bakin' like bacon."  

It was just an impulsive observation about how beastly hot it has been for the past few weeks.  Don't get me wrong, I don't really mind heat for the 4th of July.  All my life temperature in the 80' and 90's were typical on the 4th.  The problem was that someone had brought up bacon again.  It's all around me.  I've decided this is an "-itis" because bacon has become so ubiquitous that I am worried it is becoming some sort of obsession, or maybe it's possession--I'm being possessed by some sort of bacon spirit.  

Technically, "-itis" means inflammation.  Inflammation is, for me and most everyone I know, irritating.  So is Baconitis!  But the real problem is that you can never quite forget about it,    when you begin to realize you are surrounded by bacon, and people will bring it up or display it almost everywhere.  Here is just a brief recounting of where bacon has been popping up around me the past few days.  There was a report about the effect of the introduction of "baconator fries" on the price of Wendy's stock (it closed higher).  Baconator fries are intended to complement guess what? The Baconator burger, Wendy's most successful burger, of course.  Three nights ago, we ate out at the local Bonefish restaurant.  The special on the evening's menu was salmon topped with cheese and, what else?  Bacon.  My wife expressed her opinion that bacon and salmon don't go together.  Seriously, no one else has found any food with which bacon does not go.  There's bacon added to grits, bacon added to salads, even to a sauce you pour on waffles.  

Arby's has introduced brown sugar bacon sandwich, it consists of Arby's traditional sliced beef with brown sugar bacon sauce.  Paula Deen has a recipe for brown sugar bacon.  The web site EndlessSimmer.com has over one hundred uses for bacon.  I couldn't bring myself to read them all, but one included recipe was bacon apple pie--apple pie with a bacon lattice on top in lieu of the more traditional pie crust lattice.    

Want to stay current on all things bacon?  Subscribe to Bacon Today, "daily news on the world of sweet, sweet bacon"  Did you say you need a book to read to your children?  Another void has lately been filled--you will find there is now a children's book you can read to your child entitled, I Want To Be Bacon When I Grow Up.  

 Are you more of an Internet sort of person?  Go to BaconFreak.com.  I had been putting off the completion of this little essay until the bacon wave subsided in my world, but I concluded it never will, when my wife pointed out the bacon-flavored chocolate at the local chocolatier.  We're doomed.  Chocolate and bacon have formed an alliance.    

P.S., I recently attended a prayer service where the minister recited the following invocation:  Dear Lord, once we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jpbs.  Now, we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs.  Please, please, please, we beg foe you-- watch over Kevin Bacon!