EWOC Press Release

EWOC Press Release

Wednesday, it was reported that the Equal Weather Opportunity Commission has confirmed receipt of a complaint from a resident of Western Michigan.  The complaint alleges weather discrimination.  A spokesperson was quoted as saying, “All American citizens are, under the law, entitled to equal weather, free from discrimination.  Obviously, this means that rain, snow, sleet or freezing rain must fall equally upon all citizens, regardless of street, neighborhood or geographical location.”   The complaint alleges excessive amounts of rain have fallen there (the name of the actual location, Saugatuck, is being withheld, pending notification of relatives). 

The National Weather Service will be investigating.  The respondents, TV Chief Meteorologists LLF, have pointed out that equal proportions of rain and sunshine probabilities were forecast, and that they cannot be held responsible for the disparate impact of the actual weather.  In fact, they intend to provide evidence that their forecasts have a 0.0001 correlation with the actual climatic events, including rain, wind, hail, snow or freezing rain. 

The defendants are quoted as saying, when notified of the complaint, “Days may be cloudy or sunny, we’re in or we’re out of the money, we're all innocent, come rain or come shine.”