Traditions, Traditionally Speaking

Traditions, Traditionally Speaking

I've been thinking about Christmas traditions lately, and I noticed none are stronger than those we used to observe at Christmas when I was very young.  My version of the traditional Christmas is entirely from that time of my childhood.  We did our major observance on Christmas Eve.   My Father's brother Dick, his sister Rita, her husband Hank and their child, my cousin Jim all came over for the evening.  We (the kids) opened one gift on that night, then opened the rest on Christmas morning.  If I recall correctly, we opened our gifts before church.  This saves Santa from having to completely wrap what he brings, making the trip around the world more easily achieved.  It means when we came down the stairs on Christmas morning, the largest of Santa's gifts were in plain sight on or near your pile of presents.  No problem there, after admiring the gift Santa had not wrapped, we tackled the pile that was wrapped.

I think as young parents we rotated Christmas visits between our respective parents' homes.  We headed for whichever grandparents' home was on our schedule and did whatever the respective grandparents' tradition called for.  By contrast, my siblings began to observe Christmas at their respective homes with their "nuclear" families, dropping in on Grandma and Pop later.  Soon a new tradition became established, the "family" party took place earlier in the month of December and was attended by all who were in town, usually not including us after 1984, as we had moved to Atlanta in 1985.  For the next five years or so, our "tradition" was to drive for eleven or so hours to Chicago, then on to St. Louis, or vice-versa.  Since we had to travel six to seven hundred miles each way, it was not an easy tradition to carry on as our kids got older, I think.  

The result of all this was that we did not establish the kinds of "nuclear" family traditions my siblings did.  We had even abandoned traveling home for the holidays by the mid to late1990's.  Both of my parents had passed away and my wife's Dad came to live with us a short time later.

No worries, because as the kids reached college age, the whole Christmas thing became a homecoming by one or both of them, which was sometimes fun, and sometimes less so.  Most of the time, they both came home and spent only Christmas Eve and Christmas at home with us, attending church when we did.  Without grandkids, things proceeded this way for a number of years, changed little by the marriage of our oldest.   Oh, they had to be at the in-laws' on Christmas morning in observance of their strict tradition of not opening gifts until the entire family had assembled, but they could still sleep at our house, then get up and go to his parents' when they got up.  Our focal point was probably Christmas Eve anyway, but there were no "traditions" to which anyone strictly adhered.  We just went with the flow, so to speak.  We even find ourselves doing that with our new grandchildren, adopted simultaneously three years ago.  Nothing firm has been established that I would term "a tradition" on our side

Which leads me to wonder what the rest of the world does.  I spoke to several of the adult ESL students I tutor, and none of them had any tradition beyond attending church on Christmas.  Some of the adults living here travel home for the holidays to be with children and grandchildren, but others have abandoned that practice as their grandchildren entered their teenage years and lost interest in their grandparents, or as the distance and the heavy holiday traffic became harder to bear.  Some are now single, and that seems to diminish local traditions even further, unless they simply move to where their children live.  The trouble with that strategy is that the children are more mobile than my parents or my parents' parents ever were, so you might face move upon move just to keep up.

So, as yet another non-traditional Christmas season approaches, I pay some heed to an article I ran across.  It's about starting holiday traditions.  The link is below.  While many of them are only a fit for young families or large ones, there are surely a few nuggets for everyone.  If not, try thinking of one that fits you and your situation as number fifty-one.  Give it some thought and try talking it over with a friend or family member.  With a little luck, you might just come up with one that works for you.  I sure hope so.  May you make a new tradition that helps make this--the most traditional of holidays--a Merry one.

http://www.cozi.com/live-simply/50-holiday-traditions