The experts would have you believe this changing your life stuff is simply a matter of deciding what to change and then doing it. My sense is that most real change in your life struggles with an element of loss, a chorus of doubts and a quantity of inertia that can paralyze you. If you succumb to all of that and feel sorry for yourself, you wind up spending time in escapism. Lucky ones find a form of escape that is somehow comforting and beneficial--like spending time with old friends, or tackling some mind-numbing work that you know has to be done at some point. Those less fortunate find destructive activities or directions that can work their way into bouts with depression; things like sleeping too much, drinking to excess, watching television mindlessly for hours at a time, playing video games, etc.
For me, most of the time, the path forward has started with accepting the loss--trying to find some positive I can take away from the experience, but accepting the loss just the same. It does no good to assign blame, either to yourself or someone else at this point. It just happened, and further analysis will have little value other than to dredge up more regret. Pretending it was really nothing is to deny that sense of loss, and I think it diminishes your efforts going forward if you don't accept that this was and is a painful spot you put yourself in. Oh yes, you did it. The situation you find yourself in is the one you chose for yourself. Whether you stay in a situation that is no good for you, or you actively seek it out, it was and is a choice you made. Accept that and move on.
But how to move on? Each path you consider, easy or hard, will generate a hefty supply of doubts. What if this happens, what if that gets in the way, I know this person won't like it, and more. All those doubts can easily push you back down on the couch or back to bed, or wherever it is you're hiding.
But those doubts can help you if you choose to make it that way. All those what if events can help you refine your plans--if "x" happens, I can do "y." This kind of feedback on your plan going forward that anticipates some of the things that might happen does give you the opportunity to do a little strategic thinking. You can be ready for some (but not all) of what lies ahead.
The people that you believe won't like it might become a good resource for you. If you talk it through with them, they might just agree with you, or the drawbacks they see for you might be worth addressing in your plans. And, you know what? If those people don't fall into one category or the other I just mentioned--if all they are is just a source of negativity, maybe they don't belong in such a high place on your list of people who are important in your life. Maybe you should be distancing yourself from them a bit.
Careful, though, you can't just dismiss everyone who disagrees with you. Step back a bit and really listen and think about what they have to say. If it's all negative, let it go. If you can see something being given to you that is intended to help, try to understand it and make it part of your path forward. If it isn't, don't invite this person to join your support team.
Yes, you need a support team. You don't have to hold tryouts with all of them. Some are in your corner no matter what. Tell them what you are doing and ask them to help you in some way as you go. People who belong on your team will be glad to help. The more specific effort you ask from them the better. You really aren't as alone as you think.
Finally, don't expect your path to change to pop into your head all in one piece and straight up the path. Recognize that you may have to start (and restart) without having a perfectly clear or complete set of directions. Some of that you will have to learn on the way. The beginning of your plan may require you to simply do some things about taking better care of yourself before you march out to conquer what stands in the way. Make a list of a few of those things first, then move on to the rest of the plan. Begin by taking better care of yourself, follow that by making a list of people you hope you can count on as your support team and start talking to them about the changes you are considering and ask them what they think; then, each day, write down what you have done (e.g., today I ate a better breakfast, or I joined a gym, or I signed up for a class, and I talked to one of those people on my list and this is what we talked about). You have to start somewhere, and taking better care of yourself and spending a little time with friends and family doesn't sound so hard. Why not get started?
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