Calling All Genres

Yes, I want a meeting with representatives of all the major genres in fiction novels.  I had thought previously that "genre" was  one of those words that are not properly pluralized by adding the "s," but I wasn't sure but I went with the plural anyway, as I want as many of them as I can fit in the little meeting hall that is my brain these days.   Also, my spell check says it is OK, so I'm going with it.  

I h   I am calling the meeting because I feel the need for a change.  I have been a dedicated fan of detective fiction for a long time, usually with murder as the central crime.  Whether it is John Sanford's Lucas Davenport pursuing a serial killer or Kathy Reich's Temperance Brennan searching for clues in forensic anthropology to solve murders where bones are pretty much all is left of the victim; or Richard Castle (yes, there really is one--an honest-to-goodness writer who knows a pretty detective very well) helping Nikki Heat lead her homicide team to the guilty party; or Robert Parker's Spenser pursuing suspects as a private detective with "friends" in the local and state police there to take away the killer or killers once Spenser finds them; or the same Robert Parker's Jesse Stone, a police chief in a small town outside of Boston, where he wound up after a fall from grace in the LA Police Department, and a dance with the bottle to accompany him on the way down, solving crimes with an occasional assist from Captain Healy of the Massachusetts state police; or it might be Harlan Coben's Myron Bolitar, the pro basketball player whose ruined knee in his first game in the pros left him finding a new career as a sports agent/bodyguard/detective helping his clients solve crimes from kidnapping to grand larceny to murder; or it could be Michael Connelly's Harry Bosch, a loner who solves cases new and old in the LA Homicide Division, where he makes his own rules at times to get his man; or it might be John Lescroart's Abe Glitsky, a homicide captain in San Francisco, or Lescroart's defense attorney and sometime detective, Dismas Hardy (and Abe Glitsky's friend, by the way); or Connelly's Lincoln Lawyer, Mickey Haller, a defense attorney who operates his law practice out of the trunk of his chauffeured Lincoln;  or yet another John Lescroart series of Hunt Club mysteries solved by Wyatt Hunt and his friends; or Sue Grafton''s Kinsey Milhone alphabet series (A is for Alibi, on up to W is for Wasted, and X ), where Kinsey, a private detective, solves crimes in Santa Teresa, a fictional small[town in California; or Janet Ivanovich's Stephanie Plum, a some time bonding agent, /detective each volume bears a numerical title (I gave up at Fearless Fourteen, when the formulaic on again-off again romances with a policeman and a serious, hunky bonding agent became boring to me);or even J..A. Jance's J.P. Beaumont Series about a long-time homicide detective in Seattle,; or Spenser Quinn's Chet and Bernie series featuring a detective agency consisting of a man, Bernie, and his dog, Chet, the narrator of the stories; or Robert Crais' L.A. detective Elvis Cole and his strong silent partner, ex-Marine Joe Pike; or David Baldacci's Amos Decker, the detective with the perfect injury stemming form a football head-injury received in his first play in the NFL then some lesser-known characters like John Sanford;s Virgil Flowers, Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension Agent, and J. A. Jance's Sheriff Joanna Brady or Ali Reynolds; I have just gotten tired of it all.  

Then there are the political thrillers with or without international conspiracy and intrigue, Rob Shumaker's Richard Schumaker series each one named in similar fashion--fill in the blank--followwed by the words "In The Capital" or Baldacci's Shaw series about the reluctant mercenary, by the name of,--guess what--Shaw--saving the world; or all the Bond spy novels and John Le Carre, or (on and on); or the wandering loner, ex Army MP, homeless on purpose--Lee Child's  Jack Reacher; or Alex Berenson's former Army MP John Wells, saving the world and interrupting terror attacks just in the nick of time; or Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan stories of political intrigue and international terror, and now the Jack, Jr. series that continues after Mr. Clancy's passing; or Hank Sutherland JAG lawyer, dealing in  international crises, or Carolyn Arnold's Brandon Fisher FBI series; I could go on, but I've read so many of them, I leave out whole sets of series (I almost went with series of series since "series" is the plural form of "series," but I settled on sets of series--it seemed less awkward.), zske for example, Robert Ludlum's stuff, including, but not limited to the whole Jason Bourne thing; or Fletcher Knebel's political thrillers, the best of which was and is Seven Days in May.  Then don't forget Frederick Forsyth, and his crime/thrillers like The Day of The Jackal.  

I've read and then given away many, many others--and don't ask me to recall them all.  The important theme here is they are all about murder, mayhem and disaster.  Entertaining?  Yes, they have been, but I want to hear from a few other genres, especially ones with humor and more pleasant things to contemplate than murder, etc.  I want out--give me laughter, people having fun, enjoying life for a little while.  I have to specify one exception, Romance novels--sorry, it's just a personal thing, really--they bore me to tears.  I've brought this up to a couple of friends, and they suggested histories and another category I'm not sure how to name--the example is Bill Bryson's The Life and Times of The Thunderbolt Kid.  I think this might be a small niche in the memoir genre, because it's more dedicated to humor than anything else, I think.  As for history, it is a rare history that will keep my attention, but there have been a few, for example a few years ago I read a fine book on FDR, The Man He Became: How FDR Defied Polio to Win the Presidency, but, as I said, there have only been a few that held my attention.  I think I'll go with Bryson, even if he isn't his own genre.

Cereal Self-Improvement

OK, I have a friend who wrote me about being a "cereal" something or other, what he was referring to was not nearly as interesting as his use of "cereal," which he did serially during the course of his note.  I love puns, and this seemed the perfect set-up for a series of them.  I have recently, half in jest, been talking about the "403 Words Every Smart Person Should Know," but I am becoming interested in collecting words for punning.   

In pursuit of that, I googled "puns" recently.  There, I found--I am not making this up-- among the first three entries, a reference to "Understanding PUNS."  It turns out this is a government-created program in the state of Illinois.  Only a governmental employee could create a program whose acronym of PUNS and not walk away for a few hours until he or she could come up with a different name  for the program.  What would make you plunge ahead?  The program has some complexity to it, so the helpful state employees designed a web page to help people who might be eligible for the PUNS program to understand it better, hence the Understanding PUNS listing.  Can it be that no one noted the problem here?  It turns out this is a serious process devoted to helping people with developmental disabilities obtain needed assistance and support.  But some humorless nincompoop gives it a title that results in an acronym like PUNS.  Well, I for one am richer for it, but, really, doesn't it make you wonder?

But back to the topic at hand.  Puns can be adapted to almost any event.  Here are a few I liked on first cite: Do you know what a clock does when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds.  Having enjoyed my holidays a little too much, this one fit better than my pants do today.  The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from far too much pi.  

If you have been following the news for the past few weeks you probably already know where bills are passed into law--incongruous.  In trying to avoid the fiscal cliff back in 2012, I am sure their discussion of raising estate taxes brought this one to  mind--what is the definition of a will?  It's a dead giveaway.  Of course, now it's more of a taxing situation, which is another case where the government has its hands in your pocket, even in your grave.  

I have been described as a "cereal" punster at times, and have been accused of "bowling" people over with my efforts.  I have "milked" this one since breakfast today, with no appropriate chex on my excesses.  With this little note, I finally decided to "pour" them on you, if you aren't a fan of puns, I'm sorry.  I am working on it, really.  But I am a bad combination--a punster and a pessimist.   

I'm doing something about it, but I know change is always difficult, especially for a pessimist like me.  So I don't see how much can be done about it.  Why don't I think I can really change this?  Punning is in my blood, and you know a pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

With most areas of your life that need shoring up, you begin with self-awareness--noticing the situation, then self-assessment--taking a closer look, finally, you decide on a path of action--self-improvement.  I have noticed my weakness for puns--self awareness.  I am planning on taking a closer look over the next few weeks (it might take months or years--even a lifetime before I can decide on an action--who knows?)  Punny how things go sometimes.