To understand the ultimate question being asked herein, I have to set the stage by providing some background. I live in a warm climate (and have for the past twenty years). In such a climate some things are unavoidable. High temperatures in the summer, exceeding 100 degrees Fahrenheit, at times is one example. Relative humidity levels often track the same path, into the 90's.
People, even some in my category who arrived here intentionally, are wont to complain about some of the conditions that accompany this weather. "Oh, I sweated through my shirt today." or "I can feel my sweat dripping down the back of my pants leg," or "I had to stop to clean the sweat off my glasses," and even, "I had sweat dripping off the end of my nose (in some cases mingling with snot, if you must know)." Such are the conditions we are expected to tolerate willingly, having been born or moved into this kind of climate.
I am almost sure that women speak amongst themselves about annoying effects of such hot weather, even as they pretend they do not sweat profusely like men, they merely perspire. But no women were interviewed in preparation for this story. I have to admit I was reluctant to even bring the matter up in mixed company as my wife has made it known to me that I sometimes venture into conversational territory in which I do not belong, and she has not, in recent memory, been unwilling to tell me to butt out.
A fairly recent development has been the temporary reduction in wardrobe made necessary by another spell of temporary homelessness--yes we are moving again, and it has nothing to do with bill collectors, As we are between houses, so to speak, we are unable to transport with us our entire wardrobes (even the magnificent splendor normally found in my closet and dresser drawers). This condition required--for me at least--that I narrow it down to three pair of shoes--twenty-five percent of my total collection. Please note, no such limit was imposed on my spouse, not even proportionally, for example, say limiting her to thirty pair of shoes). Whatever--I chose a pair of New Balance cross-trainers (in geezer white, of course), a pair of sandals (not flip-flops, they irritate my left big toe), and a pair of boat shoes or deck shoes. You know what I mean, they were originally popularized by Sperry, and copied by many others. The pairs I have--yes, I have two, for reasons to be explained later--are marketed under the Margaritaville brand, although I doubt Margaritaville has a shoe manufacturing arm, just a marketing one. They are newly purchased, within the last six months, as I recall.
Now most of the time, I place socks over my feet before donning the shoes (no, not the sandals--way too dorky!). While visiting cooler climes, where we wore jeans and even long-sleeved shirts at times, this was not a problem. As we worked our way back south, a vexing problem set in. Wearing socks inside boat or deck shoes in shorts is really dorky, or at least in my mind it is. I even tried those socks that barely reach the shoe tops. The problem with those is two-fold--first they are still visible inside your shoes, thus duplicating the dorky effect of wearing taller socks; and, secondly, they tend to roll down the back of your feet, and slide beneath your heel into your arch. Uncomfortable and not very attractive!
So, eventually, I started wearing these boat shoes without socks. It was just a necessary step, so to speak. Not long thereafter, I received a complaint, from my regular roommate, passenger/driver, etc.--my wife. She claimed my feet, which naturally sweat a little in the warmer weather, smelled awful (I think there were a few more emphatic descriptors added, but I have forgotten them). At any rate, she soon extended that description to my shoes even when my feet were not presently in them. I had to purchase another pair of identical shoes--ones that did not smell--to replace my first pair even though they were not worn out.
Realizing I would soon own way too many pairs of shoes, I had to act fast. I consulted the all-knowing, all-seeing source of wisdom--Google. "How do I keep my feet from smelling?" If you keep looking, you will eventually find the simplest remedy ever, but you are going to have to go look for yourself. I will not spell out this remedy, but you will eventually find it, there are bound to be leaks.
At any rate, I have adopted this solution, but I have one simple problem. I do not know if it works! I lost my sense of smell some time ago (which my wife says explains why she is constantly on my case about it). She is only trying to help--oh, of course--since she knows of my lost sense of smell. I am reluctant to ask my wife if the problem has gone away, since she would stay at me until I provided a detailed explanation, and I will not do that, period. You would know why I won't tell her if you knew what method I have begun to employ. She just would not be very understanding about it. In the mean time, I will just have to go on not knowing---unless, maybe I should just google this one, too! Let's see....
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