Late night alone, rain on the roof quiets the mind and
awakens the watcher within. Not the thinker
of all those random thoughts, twisting and turning like rabbit-holes, but the
steady presence that watches it all passing.
Silently watching, seeing it all come and go.
Even taking a breath feels different somehow. It’s a little deeper, and all that is moving
in that breath is present. Sitting
upright lets go of aches, shows joints and muscles that are holding a posture
or position separate and stiff. Allows
them to rejoin the body and leave behind resistance and pains felt upon
arising. Allowed to move, no cramping is
present. A small movement leaves behind
the pressure felt from sitting in one place.
Can that relief be obtained without moving, but just by
breathing? Attending to it, the feeling
begins to subside. I return to breathing
and can feel it from my toes to my scalp.
Allowing the hands to rest, the tremor is felt. Joining hands the tremor is spread but in
spreading it is reduced. It brings no
fear, only notice, and the hands return to the fleeting attempt to speak for
the watcher, who yet watches them. Again
the breath sweeps away what was and rejoins what is.
Attention returns to a knee that aches, even as it is
observed, it subsides. The knee speaks
again, softly, then subsides. The
breathing is consciously deeper, then letting go, it settles into more normal
rhythm and the body quiets itself. Sleep
will soon return. Good night.
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