Intersections

The other day, I used an expression I don't remember hearing anywhere or reading anywhere, so I must have just made it up. It was about lives intersecting. On many levels, when or where our lives intersect determines our future. But that's just the result. Something precedes it, and it is one of life's great puzzles. Many cultures have developed explanations for that something that is "in charge." Some are religious, some philosophical, some spiritual, even astrological--think karma, divine providence. the stars, and all the philosophical answers to life's questions about why we are here.

There are even many who believe it's all a random process and pure chance dictates how your life intersects with the lives of others. I do prefer the former, even though chance seems to be the only thing that prevents someone from rounding the corner and running into you. And what was it that landed your resume a few slots behind the last candidate chosen for interview at a company on the Coast that you were perfect for? Was it really preordained that you would attend a university 500 miles southwest of your home town, and not due east? There are pivotal moments in life, and we really don't know what causes lines to intersect or not, do we? Oops, I seem to have moved metaphors—from traffic and geography to linear algebra and geometry. I kind of like the traffic and geography metaphor better, don't you? It's easier to picture a missed bus or train or a traffic light turning yellow seconds too soon; as opposed to riding some sort of vector or parallelogram. But mathematics probably lends itself to analysis more readily than traffic lights, rounding corners, college applications and resumes.

Neither really addresses the chance that determines how we connect when our lives intersect. There are first impressions, which can derail any connection. There is eye contact. If no one makes eye contact, no connection seems possible. On the other hand, eye contact can put some people off. A smile just naturally prompts a return smile (see brain research). So, even eye contact if and when intersections occur, seems to be a factor in determining what happens after lives intersect. Even if connections are made, things like words and touch strengthen or truncate those tentative connections before they can grow. The people you encounter, the vast, vast majority of whom never connect with you or even try. So those with whom you connect, regardless of where or when, are valuable and precious. Through them you become the human you are.

There are chains that begin with a single person that become phenomenal. Think of the National Kidney Registry. Without its founder, hundreds of lives would no longer be. And, if Michael J. Fox had not contracted Parkinson's then his foundation would not raise money for research, and its trial finder would not be connecting people with researchers for clinical trials that must take place to find a cure. Or, if you do not connect with other humans wherever and whenever you can, then you will be less for it, and so will we all.