I Should Be Kicking Myself

I'm here to tell you I've taken up boxing. My own  pair of boxing gloves will be here next week.  I've been using a pair of borrowed gloves for my first two sessions.  If you knew how old I am, you'd probably be as shocked as I am.  And another thing, I'm doing this on the recommendation of my daughter.  She has read the research and says this is good for people like me.  But it's true. Twice a week I go to the gym and work on learning how to throw a variety of punches, in a series of combinations.

I'm practicing keeping my hands up, fighting my height, returning to my own stance after each foray. Oh, did I mention it is technically mixed martial arts that I'm learning?  I mean, when you're learning to fight, why limit yourself to just throwing five or six different punches, when there are five or six kicks you can use?  I'm sure it will be just as easy to learn multiple martial arts at the same time as it is to simply focus on just boxing.

There are a few initial hurdles, I have to admit. Take for example the first I encountered, when my instructor had to show me how to put on my borrowed boxing gloves. Sure, you're probably chuckling at that one,  but try it some time.  You pull on the first one easily enough. You pull it on and wrap the strap around your wrist using the super easy Velcro fastener. Yes, you may not remember, but you used to have to lace up and tie the gloves like shoes. Now, where was I?  Oh, yeah, I had just put on the first glove.  Now, picture this, I reach for the other glove, but I can't really grip it with my gloved hand.  You see, my fingers are immobile inside this large leather-encased cushion about three inches thick. Oh, and my thumb is turned inward and enclosed in a cushion of its own.  Pulling it on is a struggle, but I can manage it.  It's on at least, now how do I grab that strap I need to pull around my wrist to tighten it up enough so it will keep the glove firmly on my hand while I am punching?  Not so easy, but my instructor shows me a trick and it's done.

Next, my instructor says, "Hit me."  I don't move. He says it again. "Hit me."  I still don't make a move.  He gives me a quizzical look.  "I don't hit guys like you."  He's five inches taller, outweighs me by forty pounds ( I can't say for sure, but I'd guess it's mostly muscle).  He laughs and says,  "Probably not."

I could go on and on about initial hurdles in this project.  But let me just give you one more.  At the end of my 2nd session, John says, "I'll set the timer for one minute, and you hit this bag any way you can." While I wait, I'm thinking, "I start with a jab, then...."   The bell rings and I'm all over it.  I'm punching, using combinations--short ones, my memory of what he's just shown me is not all that detailed.  But it goes on, and on, and on, and on...   Finally, the bell rings.  And I can barely breathe!  and I'm fighting an inanimate object that can't swing back.  How do they do it?

Then, John asks, "How come you weren't kicking?"