Expectations and Growth

At this stage in my life, what I spend time doing is up to me.  Probably more so than in any previous stage of my life.  Seeing the days roll on and developing expectations seem to be at odds with an adventuresome life.  If expectations can be seen as habits carried on so steadily that conditions can be depended upon, then what will be new in life?  Or is it more like this--you try an activity, and you enjoy it.   Having enjoyed it, you decide to do it more often.  if you succeed at that, then this enjoyable activity will occur on a regular basis, and your life will be enriched.  As you continue doing this thing on a regular basis, it will become a habit.  Will that habit become an old friend or will an activity once enjoyable become humdrum and no longer so?  Without some means of taking stock from time to time, I can see a time where it all slowly hardens into inertia and resistance to change, and the opposite of growth.  Inertia seems to hold some people back, to stop the growth means to begin to decay, doesn't it?

Expectations and Growth

I remember some years ago taking note of the crowds of old men at McDonald's early in the morning.   I assumed it was the bottomless senior coffees they could have there.  Some in the crowd would laugh and talk, but others looked so bored, the coffee seemed the only thing keeping them from falling back to sleep.  How will I spend my time then, I reflected?

It all sounds negative as I read it over, but my sense is that taking stock and making changes in those activities is the best means to live.  To be alive is to grow and to change.  Expectations about how you spend your time are not the only expectations we build into our lives.  The people we choose to spend time with influence us as well.  I recently had a conversation with a friend in which we lamented the absence of a good conversation about things that are meaningful and larger than the routines about weather, who you have seen lately, what they are up to, TV, politics and blah, blah, blah.  We decided to try collecting some topics for the much larger conversations around ideas and ideals that we seem to have stopped having, and make room for such discussions periodically on a more formal basis.  In this way, we might just do a little more thinking, instead of just reshuffling the deck of old cards in our deck, so to speak.

Since then I have thought only momentarily about it, and haven't fastened on an idea that jumps out at me.  I think I'll go see about Lifelong Learning projects around here and maybe some of the old Great Books projects, but maybe I'm just being perfectionistic about it.  Any old idea can be a start.  The habit we want to establish is growth and change, so most anything we try will work.  The habit that got us there was one of taking stock of what we are up to these days.  So self-awareness and growth look like a couple of habits that put a more positive and optimistic perspective on life as we know it.

I know, it's all sort of dull and boring, but it's helped me sort out a few things.

Doing the Right Thing and Clap Along If you Feel...

Doing the Right Thing and Clap Along If you Feel...

Despicable Me and, well, me.
The Oscar-nominated song excerpted below comes from the sequel to "Despicable Me," entitled--you guessed it--"Despicable Me 2."  The song, which rings in my ears these days everywhere I go, goes like this: 

It might seem crazy what I'm about to say

Sunshine she's here, you can take away

I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space

With the air, like I don't care baby by the way

Chorus:

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you know what happiness is to you

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Here come bad news talking this and that

Yeah, give me all you got, don't hold back

Yeah, well I should probably warn you I'll be just fine

Yeah, no offense to you don't waste your time

Here's why

Chorus:

Because I'm happy"... 

and it goes on from there.  

I have two adopted grandchildren, and I feel like happiness is the truth.   If you know the story line for the animated movies bearing the Despicable Me title, you know that Gru, the evil genius who wants to be known as the most evil one, conceives of the stunt of stealing the moon to prove to the world he is the greatest villain in history.  Along the way he encounters three orphan sisters selling cookies door-to-door.  When he realizes they can help him gain access to a place he plans to burglarize in pursuit of his moon mission, he adopts them.  Later he uses them to get in and steal the equipment he needs. 

Along the way, they are melting his heart and he is falling in love with the little family he now has.  When his collaborator brings him back to his task, he leaves them behind, returning them to the orphanage, and he easily succeeds in stealing the moon.

"Doing the harder thing when it's the right thing to do."

In the Wall Street Journal, not long ago, I read an interesting piece about the marshmallow test.  Simply described, a researcher handed a 5-year-old a marshmallow, telling him he could eat it right now if he wished, but that he could have two if he waited until the researcher returned to the room.  He then leaves the room and observes by hidden camera what happens. This simple test and the behaviors observed in its subject have been proven to predict future scores on the SAT's, and a host of other outcomes in life.  The challenge of doing the harder thing when it's the right thing to do means a good deal.  

Back to the Despicable Me story, Dru realizing he is missing his girls' dance recital which he had promised to attend, leaves his completed moon mission to try to make it in time.  He arrives too late, learns his archenemy has kidnapped the girls, and runs off to rescue them.  

It turns out in his case as well that "Doing the harder thing when it's the right thing to do," and that what the subject does in the face of this test tells much about one's character as well.  In the process of trying to do his "right thing", Dru is forced to ransom the girls by giving away the moon.  The inevitable double-cross occurs, and the girls are in jeopardy.  At great personal risk, Dru rescues the girls and is transformed from villain to hero.  

My grands love these characters more than most.  They have a special attachment to this adoptive family because of their own history, and I have to say I'm proud of my little group (Mom, Dad and the kids), and the efforts they have to make in doing their "right thing."  God Bless Them, and Happy Easter.

Rainy Forecast, Fishing and Greeting the Birds

I recently noted that I had almost never before seen a forecast with a 100% probability of rain, and then I encountered two in two different states, hundreds of miles apart.  In those cases the weather forecasters were right.  It rained!  It's almost as if they knew it was going to rain!  Now, you realize that forecasters really never look back (it's forecast, not report after it happens, right?).  Can you really believe a weather forecaster includes stats on his or her resume about how often they were right?  Nah, more likely what kind of market share or ratings their show had.  But still, it seems like 100% is taking a chance.   It means they are certain.  Well, here I sit with the rain pounding on the windows. They were right again.  This is three times in a row.  

I have promised to fish with my grands, so I am likely to learn whether steady rains make fishing better or worse.  Fish aren't afraid of a little water, are they?  On the other hand, actually hooking a fish in any conditions has been rare, so I may not be able to tell at all.  

In any event, as I told my granddaughter yesterday, it is really all about spending some time in nature, watching the birds, enjoying some peace, and, once in a great while, hooking a fish you plan to release anyway after taking a picture or two.  She listened, too.  After our next cast (we made (we do that move together, in deference to the hook that swings through the air), she sat down and repeated "this is really about enjoying nature, watching the birds, taking it easy--oh look, there's a birdie--Hey birdie, I wish I could take you home with us."   I explained that a grey heron fishes to live and has a beak that might just make bringing it home dangerous, but she was undeterred.   "She wouldn't hurt me, I'm not taking any of her fish."  Now that's the truth.  We've watched birds catch more fish in a single morning than both of us combined have caught in our lives.

Her Poem

Did you write me a love poem?
She asked impatiently
You know I'm still waitin"
She speaks pointedly

Now that's a good start,
for the girl of my heart.
Not too sticky and sweet
more like an urgent drumbeat

How can I put this idea just right
without being off-putting or appearing to slight
There is something within her so constant and caring,
So thoughtful and generous, naturally sharing.

And in that same soul
there is some sort of role
she plays in my life to keep me on balance,
not that praising of others' s not one of her talents.

She can burst a balloon,
she can tell you quite soon
when you're off in some dreamland
where life only seems grand.

When at yourself you've  been looking
not seeing what's cooking
on the stove of someone or another,
who you might should consider a sister or brother

But when she asks you for something
she just wants that one thing
That's all that she wants, and she'll let you know,
if you're going about it just a wee bit too slow.

So love her, I do.
Sometimes more than she knew.
Ah these all-knowing women-comes a time that a poem
Even clumsy as this one's the best way to show-em

Cognition and Testing

Just what is cognition, anyway?  It's the ability to speak, to recognize speech, and even the speaker.  It's also the ability to make yourself understood, isn't it?  It's remembering the past, remembering what you've leaned and known, and, most of all remembering to return to the present, wherever that is.  I think there is also an element of speed--the quick (you know, the alternative to the dead in "the quick and the dead") have more cognitive ability.   With all of that said, you have to wonder...

How do you know if your cognitive functioning is OK?  Well, you can actually download a test you can self-administer to see if you are functioning the way you ought to be.  It's called SAGE--that's the Self-Administered Gerocognitive Exam.  Hmmm, sounds like the blind leading the blind to me.  But I am not making this up.  Now, grading your test is not part of the self-administer thing.  Your doctor is the one to interpret the results, diagnose your condition/cognition (if there is any), etc.  But by now, you probably have a few questions, especially if you wonder if your cognitive is working as it is supposed to, or if you prefer, whether you are functioning cognitively as well as you have in the past or as well as you should.  Now there's a question--how well did you function in the past?  How would you know?  If you aren't functioning as well as you once did, how do you really know?

Oh, and how about this one--how well should you function cognitively?  Is there a standard we should be measuring ourselves against?  Is it Mr. Norm or Ms. Norma Normal?  Who is it?  How smart or not so smart is he or she?  Ohio State University (whose researchers created and study the results of the self-administered test) doesn't really say.  But now, some of that stuff from school comes back--if there's a test, couldn't I do better if I knew the questions ahead of time.  Oh, and if there's a test, there must be an answer key, right?

So, what does the test amount to?  What are the questions?  Well, you can go get them if you want, just like I did.  You will probably want to take the test, just like I did.  You won't really have to take it to your doctor, right?  But you might...  Now, back to the questions, I took the test and I think they are too simple.  They can't be sufficient to evaluate high-level cognitive functioning.  They are too simple, really.

I'm sure my doctor will tell me I passed with flying colors.  I plan to show it to her, just as soon as I find it.  I know I put it somewhere, I just don't remember where I put it.  Maybe what's-her-name can help me find it.      

Forecasting 100% Chance of Rain

For the second consecutive day, the weather people--those exalted prophets of precipitation, soothsayers of sunshine, clairvoyants of cloudiness, etc.--have gambled and won.  They have actually predicted with one hundred percent certainty that it will rain, and they have been right.  I know they really don't care how accurate their forecasts have been over time, but I, for one, salute them.  As I sit in my little office on the second floor, I can hear the steady drumming of drops, and the water that plops on the heavy clay tile that tops our villa here.  I'm heading downstairs to rustle up a cup of joe to return some warmth to my chilled system.

I did eventually make it back up with my cup, but had a list of rainy day tasks, the kind you put off because you'd rather be out riding, walking or whatever.  As you might imagine, these tasks are enough to bore me to tears, but somehow adding my teardrops to all those raindrops outside just doesn't happen.

Here's a good example.  The flood of documents that begin to arrive after the New Year herald the arrival of tax season for me.  I usually sit down with all of that, harboring the false hope that I may somehow have overpaid my taxes like I did when I was very young (a teenager) paying no taxes at all.  Back then, doing my taxes amounted to counting up how much was withheld and arriving at a total of all the dough I'd be receiving.  It never happens that way anymore, except in years with unusually high deductions (like when buying a house and paying points on your mortgage at the start of its term).

So these days I do the taxes to the point where I determine how large a check I have to write to Uncle Sam and put it all away until the final deadline for payment of those taxes.  Then, one rainy day in April I fish it out, check my work and file.  Around that same time, I put away in a file box my detail for the transactions from four years ago, to destroy the next time they offer free paper shredding in my county.

All of that means that the 100% chance of rain guys caused me to file early this year and pay my taxes almost two weeks early.  I would have said there was a 50/50 chance I'd file on the very last day, since our spring time "never" has a 100% chance of rain.

Sweet

Jelly beans for breakfast and a chocolate rabbit, too.
Thought about the chocolate alligator, but I'm saving it for you.
Ah, Springtime--it's not just daffodils kissed by the morning dew.
it's a sugar high like few others, but that you always knew.
When I proposed I was intoxicated, not with my favorite brew,
but by an overdose of glucose, dextrose, fructose and you, too.

Troubles And Tides

Let your troubles be bubbles
That float with the tide
If the tide's coming in,
Then you really can't win.

So just float with the tide
Until that tide turns,
Then in a moment,
Those troubles won't torment.

Learn from the sea,
And ride thru life's troubles
With the forever tides,
Floating like bubbles.

Some Castles Have A Limited Life

As I sat listening
beside a sea that was glistening,
These words someone proudly announced
"It's finished!"  And off to see it they bounced.

"We gotta go see it, before it's too late.
It's the castle of castles, we really can't wait
I'm not gonna miss it," I heard him shout
"That you can count on, without any doubt."

Wait a minute or two, sure I misunderstood
Most castles I know for centuries stood.
Were years in the making,
The care their builders were taking.

Sure, warfare made things urgent when battles advanced,
but the military's castles were always enhanced.
Taking lessons from tactics that changed year to year,
Castles were strengthened, so nothing to fear.

The oldest of castles in the ninth century built,
It was hard to believe one need run there full tilt
to see such a castle just now completed,
unchallenged so far, much less soon to be defeated.

Ah, but this castle's life will be measured in hours
and not centuries as the ones with great towers
In minutes this castle's assembly was measured,
not years like those ancient castles I've treasured.

You see those old ones were built of timber and stone
in a place carefully chosen to protect its own.
This one's made of sand, built just for part of this day
in a spot where the tide will soon wash it away.

Sun Worship

What is it about the sun?  This morning, I saw the sun coming up as I came downstairs and realized we had another delightful day ahead of us.  We'd been to Charleston yesterday, and enjoyed walking its streets.  A weekend of sunshine there had prompted the gardens to erupt in color.  Every little garden we glimpsed had something popping out.  Naming them all is probably beyond my limited knowledge, but azaleas of all varieties, confederate jasmine, dogwoods, daisies, roses and more were spilling over garden walls and stone pavers.   We blamed it on the weekend of sun, and a few more hours of warmth than we had at home.

When we finished our must-do's today, we knew where we were going--the beach.  A couple of hours there bathes you in breeze and beauty--along with a serving or two of toddlers crying when told they had to leave the beach, bike riders stopping to walk their bikes rather than fight the wind in their faces, and the first lifeguards of season (they start showing up on April first around here).

After we got home, we hustled through dinner (leftovers, mostly, thrown together in a hurry).  We did this because?  You probably guessed it--so we'd be able to watch the sunset painting the sky pink and red and orange, outside our back window.  And, you wondered why the Ancients worshipped the sun?  Not only is it the source of plant life and crops, but it raises everything else to a new level.  At least it did today, right here, in our little piece of the world.  Even the water stays light for a while after the sun goes down, just like us.