Summer in the Carolinas—Peach Stands and ?

This time of year, peach stands start popping up alongside the roads leading from one small town to another. You may have seen them yourself. Obviously, they are not allowed on the interstate, so they are found only on state or U.S. highways. Most stands are not adjacent to an orchard or even any cultivated ground. They are just there randomly, on the side of the road.
They come with at least three hand-sprayed signs, usually made of rough-cut plywood. The first sign usually says "Peaches one mile ahed." About 150 yards past the first sign will be a similar sign, "Peaches ½ mile ahead" (note the improved spelling, a really conscientious speller would also have corrected the first sign by crowding in an "a"—usually upper case—between the "e" and the "d" on the first sign, but this is strictly optional).
You may have noticed the distance between the signs was only 150 yards, but accurate measurement between signs is also optional. The only requirement is that there be three signs before you see the stand itself. The third sign will say "Stop Peaches ¼ mile ahead." The set up of the stand may begin with a stop to put up that first sign, followed by two more stops then the stand itself, or it might start with placing the stand and then the signs. The stands are also made of 2x4's and plywood, sometimes they are left in place when the stand closes for the day, sometimes not.
If the first stop is placement of the stand, then the signs may be placed a bit more accurately, distance-wise, since the trip to place the signs is a round-trip. If the signs are placed first, the location for the stand can "sneak up" on the person placing the signs, resulting in short placement like that mentioned above. In any event, there is no such thing as a "do-over" when it comes to placing signs. If you got too close before you set that first sign, it will just have to do for the day. In any case, as I observed to my wife, "No proprietor of a peach stand would deliberately mislead potential customers (although posting the price per pound for your produce is strictly optional)."
July and August in South Carolina are insufferably hot, especially in the sun where the only breeze is made by truck and automobile traffic and is laden with their exhaust. In the past, some vendors at the stands themselves have taken to sitting in their trucks (yes. It must be a truck, and ten or more years old is a minimum.), with the A/C on during slow periods when no one is stopping to buy. But with gasoline prices headed back up to $4 a gallon, the stand inhabitants are resorting to other means to try to keep cool. Some have rescued discarded beach umbrellas from the landfill and nailed them up to provide shade for themselves.
Today I learned some vendors are going beyond that, they are resorting to removing certain articles of clothing in the hopes of keeping cool. Always on the lookout for new trends and capitalizing on competitive advantage, I suggested to my wife that the traditional signs needed a makeover, now that we see this season's latest developments in peach stand vendor apparel. "TOPLESS WAITSTAFF ONE MILE" would be the first one, followed by "Peaches served by TOPLESS WAITSTAFF ½ mile," and so on. "Not so fast," she replied, "men wear shirts, and women wear tops, and 'No proprietor of a peach stand would deliberately mislead potential customers.' You said so yourself." "So, it's 'SHIRTLESS WAITSTAFF, etc.,' and you won't attract any extra customers with that."
I told her she was no fun at all.