Socks On My Mind

Today I stepped out of my car to buy a paper and noticed something scary. I was wearing white socks and loafers. I stopped doing that in high school because it was so uncool, and now--- Who knows what's next. I called my sister with Merry Christmas on my mind and wound up sharing my horror about the white socks incident and she pointed out the only thing worse is wearing dark socks and shorts. I guess no matter how bad things are, things can always get worse. I say just shoot me if it ever gets that bad.

The question is, who will keep an eye on those things and punch my ticket when it needs to be done? No, not my dear spouse, I don't trust her with a responsibility like that--she is the sole beneficiary on my life insurance and pension, etc. I am almost afraid to go to sleep at night as it is.

I remember a novel with the plot line that someone orders a hit on himself, then wants to change his mind. Is that what would happen with me and the socks? No way! I will have taken leave of my senses if I wear dark socks and shorts, so revoking "the contract" would probably not even come to mind. Let me know if you will volunteer to cover this base and put me out of my misery if it comes to the point where I am wearing them. It's a job that needs doing.

Return Bear

He stands alone now, although I think he was already unforgettable. Again and again in 2006 he caught people off guard, until they began to fear him. Once that fear took root, they all just avoided him. Avoiding him was preferred to letting him even have the chance to beat you. Avoiding him cost people territory every time. The habit became so entrenched that nobody thought twice about the territory they were giving away. Until the mighty Colts decided they were not afraid. So, the opening kick in the 2006 Super Bowl landed right in his arms, and he taught them to be afraid again. As if they were surprised, they watched him sprint 92 yards for a touchdown. Last night, he "bearly" missed breaking Brian Mitchell's record of 13 kick returns for TD's, being stopped at the 6-yard line after returning a kickoff 79 yards. The announcers had barely finished recounting some of the highlights of his career as a kick returner, when he grabbed a punt and returned it 64 yards for a touchdown. If you get a chance, go to the Chicago Bears' web site and see the compilation of his fourteen TD's in just five seasons. As the Bears' announcers put it—he is ridiculously good. The Return Bear from Chicago.

A Christmas Carol

How many of us know the story of Ebenezer Scrooge? What do you think of when it comes to mind? I remember the old(est) movie, which dates back to 1938 and included June Lockhart in the cast. It turns out there have been seven movies, including Jim Carrey's Disney version from 2009. Whatever version comes to your mind, if you're like me, you are mostly recalling film adaptations and not the book. Oh, I know everyone remembers that it is based on Charles Dickens' novella of the same name first published in 1843. It appeared, to critical acclaim, just a few days before Christmas in 1843 (167 years ago today, in fact), and was immediately popular. You may not know this, but Dickens is credited with popularizing the term most of us have known all our lives— "Merry Christmas" (Wordplay: origins, meanings, and usage of the English language. University of Toronto Press, Robertson Cochrane 1996). Of course, he also created the terms "Scrooge" and "Bah, Humbug" that are in common usage today. But I mention all this because I have made it a practice in recent years to pick up the book itself and reread all or part of it. It is a remarkable piece of writing, and has far more depth than Albert Finney, Bill Murray or Jim Carrey provide on the screen. Pick it up and read it, if you have any time for reading this season. I think I downloaded it onto my Kindle for free as it is a public domain book.